Headed to Olds College for some livestock training. So fun /s.?
Repetition
I’ve spent just about the last year at the RADLab working in a project management capacity… Or at least attempting to. Not only have I been trying to improve my skill base as I go but I’ve started taking an Applied Project Management certificate course through work. It’s a long program and will take me the better part of a year to get through it all but I believe it will be worth it in the long run.
Ah yes, the long run. What is that, exactly? Or, more accurately, WHEN is that? I’ve already spent a good part of my life doing nothing and when I finally get off my ass and select something I wanted to do with my life, I get shuffled off into an area I really didn’t have much interest in. I think this is the point where I digress….
Sly often says that she thinks I’ll never be truly happy; that I’ll move through life always thinking that it should be better. That I should be making more money, getting more time off or receiving more perks from my work. She’s right but I don’t apologize for that.
Is it not the true meaning of ambition to want better for yourself and the people you love? Yes, perhaps my childhood has caused an echo into the present that causes me to make sure Sly and I don’t have to struggle as much as my Mom did. I want Sly to have the things that she desires without being fearful that acquiring them would cause us financial hardship. Or set us back too terribly far.
Which gets me back to the reason of this post: repetition. How many times do I need to feel the same thing over again before I do something to either change my circumstances or change my mind? Which is easier? Which would lead to a more fulfilling existence? My work feels really tough and that’s mostly because it challenges me. There’s never been a time in the past when I liked to ‘coast’, sometimes going so far as to create challenges within the work space I’m in if it gets too easy or requesting more responsibility.
Facebook is the place where people go to humble-brag about their lives (whether that’s posting pictures of some amazing trip they are taking or posting pictures of their spawn) but it also sometimes inspires me. So many memes being posted, so many inspirational posters of cats with the caption “Hang in There!” that I just want to barf until I realize one thing: I’m not the only person out there disheartened, disillusioned, disenfranchised (That last one might be untrue but I’m not positive yet) by his/her life in its current state.
Everyone wants a better life but only a few realize that change is a necessity if you wish to continue moving forward in your life; if you choose it; if you welcome it. Change can be scary and it can be the most liberating thing you’ll ever experience but you have to embrace it. Embrace the change you want to be.
So that’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to embrace the change that’s occurring in my life and enjoy the ride while making slight corrections to my direction. I think it’s for the best, mentally and physically.
We’ll see.
One Month Anniversary
I’ve worked at SAIT as a full employee (not contract wages) for the past month. In that time I’ve had opportunity to have one day in Edmonton, expenses and salary paid, for the ASTEK awards (second place 🙁 ), one flex day (which is a day off with pay) and one sick day, also paid.
Is this what the real world is like? Full of perks and benefits that a lot of people don’t get to take advantage of? I could probably get used to this.
Also, after going over the annual bank statements, it also appears that one of the more challenging times during the year was two weeks after the Xmas break where the income was almost non-existent due to the two-week hold back on reporting wages and actually getting paid for them. Not working for almost two weeks will do that to a person. 😉
I don’t think I’ve ever had a job that paid me for time off nor have I ever been in a place where I wasn’t actually having to wait for pay for the work I’ve done. At least two weeks, anyways.
It feels good and I really appreciate being able to experience this with Sly and take that “next adult step”. I know it probably sounds odd but this isn’t something I ever really considered as important and, until I’ve given it more thought, it may turn out that it isn’t . But I know that with Xmas holidays this year, there will be no break in my pay; I’ll still get the same amount, every two weeks as expected without pause. So, in effect, I’m being paid while in Las Vegas. I guess that means blowing a couple of bills in the slots or at the tables won’t make me feel as guilty.
Oh Happy Day! 🙂
PROMOTED!!!
Ok, so if you’re not into Battlefield 3 or 4 then the title of this post is probably nonsense. I’m embedding the video below for some context.
Funny.
I’ve worked at SAIT for several years now. After graduation, I was lucky enough to get in with the Commercial Services department which allowed me to gain even more experience with the internal workings of an educational institution as well as spend time working on some of my less ‘programmy’ skills. This included acting as a contracted manager for a medium-sized project creating the groundwork for an internally branded and operated RFID based commerce card.
How do ‘Mental Health Days’ Reflect Your Satisfaction?
So here I am, sitting in one of a dozen local Starbucks (I really, really hate this place) hooked up to the Telus open wireless hot spot in this area (protected via SAIT VPN) and just had a very funny epiphany. Hopefully, you won’t think less of me after my confession, Gentle Reader.
You see, for a very long time I’ve compared myself to my ideal self. By that I mean the self I thought I was going mature into. You know, you go through your adolescence slowly building up an idea of what you would like the rest of your life to be like. In some cases, you’re correct, usually the easy stuff. Marriage, kids, house ownership. In most others, you’re grossly incorrect but be that as it may, you still have that picture in your head of where you wanted to be and what you wanted to be doing at particular phases in your life. And by ‘you’ I guess I really mean ‘me’.
For those of us that were much less ambitious in our youth, a lot of those things weren’t pursued. I didn’t think post-secondary education was important and took a major short cut. Though there was a close call, I didn’t consider marriage until well into my 20’s and only when I’d finally met my ‘match’.
So if I say that I haven’t been completely satisfied with my life, particularly my professional life, and some of the decisions I’ve made, I think that’d be a pretty good summation of where I was sitting… up till about six months ago.
You see it wasn’t until then that I started getting the opportunity to manage our team and aid in the direction we were moving. Though I’m still pretty green, I’m learning all the time about skills that I truly see as valuable. Yes, I’m getting to the point and it is this….
I haven’t had to take a single ‘sick’ or ‘mental health’ day in several months, probably stretching back to April or so. Like, at all. This is significant as it illustrates a willingness to overlook those shitty days where you wake up, you aren’t feeling 100% and really don’t want to go into work. I’m not positive on this, and I’m sure Sly will correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t recall that sort of time period without me needing to take a day off a month for decompression or real sickness.
The only way I can explain this is that I’m really finding a certain degree of satisfaction with my work and I really want to be there. I’m not at work today due to a Flexday need and I really wish I was. So much so that I’ve actually been logged into my computer at work, spending some time on a problem that has dogged me for a couple of days. Isn’t that weird?
Yeah, it kinda is. But I’m going to accept this new position and do the very best I can to fulfill the requirements set out before me. Who knows? Maybe I’ve finally found what I was really meant to be and can banish all that adolescent ‘wishing’ to the past and continue, with open eyes and fewer expectations, into the future.